The Story of Life
For those of you following our fostering journey, the latest update is that there is no update. We haven’t heard back from Arrow to schedule our home study yet. Sad, yes. But while I sat at home waiting by the phone (psh!), I remembered a topic I wanted to blog about: the home study questionnaire.
I was forewarned that the questions would
rip through scratch beneath the surface to find out who David and I really are. The 10 page packet included questions like:
What are your happiest childhood memories?
What do you wish you could change about your mom/dad?
Who enforced discipline in your home growing up?
Some questions brought tears to my eyes (obviously for different reasons), and others just made me scratch my head. Consider:
What is your greatest accomplishment to date?
What are your life goals?
Do you have any regrets?
Those questions, along with this blog post by Tsh Oxenreider over at Simple Mom, joined forces to push me into evaluating myself and my life. Better now than when I’m at the end, I suppose. In pondering the answers, I realized that I hadn’t decided on many goals past “graduate from college, become a teacher, get married, have kids, buy a house.” And here I am on the other side of most of those. So, what now? There’s fostering, but where else is my life headed? What are some good goals for me to aspire to?
Tsh reminded me of the idea of looking at my life as a story. God had already introduced me to that idea a couple weeks before during a time of prayer when I asked Him, “Why can’t life just be easy?” His response was, “Because I write good stories.”
Yes. Good stories are about characters who aspire toward something good and overcome conflict to get there. Think Frodo. Or Simba. Or Nemo’s dad! (What do these references reveal about me?) I want to be one of those characters who perseveres, who knows where she’s going and doesn’t shrink back at the face of hardship, who boldly moves forward even if things don’t seem to be falling into place!
So I looked at myself and saw: a character that perseveres, has a fuzzy idea of where she’s going, but gets frustrated and stressed if things don’t seem to be going according to plan. Wop wop.
A few days and many thoughts later, God revealed a fantastic goal for me to aspire toward: to enjoy my life. I don’t mean throwing caution to the wind and “living it up.” I mean not being that character that gets in a tizzy if the path seems difficult or unclear. I mean not being a “glass half empty” person anymore. I mean being the character who keeps a good attitude, no matter the circumstances, because she is grateful for the part of the story she has been given. No, I don’t know exactly where I’m headed, but I can rest in knowing that the Author is good and trustworthy. And ultimately, this story is not about me. I’m not the main character. I sometimes think I am because I’m in every scene I see, but the truth is that this story called Life is about Someone Else. And He is oh-so-gracious to let me be a part of His story. So, rather than focusing on what is going on with me, what I am going to accomplish, etc etc, I intend to focus on the Author–also the Main Character–and see what He wants to accomplish. I will aspire to enjoy my walk with Him, seeing every moment as an opportunity to know Him better. Who doesn’t want to be friends with Mr. Popular?
Knowing and enjoying Him will be my greatest accomplishment, and if I truly know Him, I won’t have any regrets.